Presence of Thought

I started doing yoga about four years ago, mainly because I wanted to get in shape and regain the flexibility that I once had when I was a dancer. While I have been quite successful at learning to contort my body into seemingly impossible pretzel-like poses, there is still one pose that I struggle with consistently -- the final resting meditation.

If you have ever tried meditation, you know the drill, get into a comfortable position, close your eyes, breath deeply, and clear your mind. Simple enough, right?

Well, maybe the sitting still and breathing part, but if you are at all like me, turning off your thoughts is a near impossible task. As soon as my body is still, my mind makes up for my body's lack of movement by racing through thoughts a mile a minute. This rapid succession of thoughts is amplified as soon as I actively TRY to think about nothing. The more I try to stop my mind from thinking, the more my mind thinks. I'm sure you can relate to this. It's like when someone tells you to NOT think about a purple elephant and the first thing that pops into your head is an image of a purple elephant.

Beyond meditation practice, staying present is a constant struggle for me in my everyday life. Like most people, I am addicted to thought. I over-analyze, over-think and obsess constantly about everything, from work and relationships to past regrets and future plans. I attach to these objects of thought and allow them to consume my awareness, leaving no room for my mind to be present in the moment.

When I am conscious of a particular thought and attach to the object of the thought, I become distracted from the present moment. As long as I attach myself to the thoughts that pass through my mind, I can never be fully present in the moment. Presence is not something that is achieved through conscious manipulation of thought.

Alan Watts makes a great analogy to illustrate the conscious effort of being present:
“The more we try to catch hold of the present moment the more elusive it becomes. It is like trying to clutch water in ones hands. The harder we grip, the more it slips through our fingers." -- Alan Watts

The key to being present is not to cease thought entirely, but, instead, to be aware of the mind's process of thought but detached from the objects of thought. Our mind must contain our thought objects like a vessel contains water, allowing them to flow freely. We must become an observer of our active mind, watching as each object passes by, aware of there presence but holding on to none.

So, the next time you meditate, pay close attention to your wandering mind and the trails of thoughts that pass by. Be aware of these thoughts, but do not allow yourself to become attached to them. Notice as they arise and then let them float on by. Through this awareness and detachment, you open yourself up to the moment.